Training Week Crazy!

Last week I was in training every day in DC. It was a LONG week. Typical day:

• My mornings started at 5am sharp.


• I was out the door by 6 (after feeding all the animals, showering and cleaning up, and trying to eat a bit of breakfast myself).


• Drop Roxie off at daycare for the day (yes, that is the dog).


• I met some coworkers at the office to drive in to the city at 6:45.


• An hour later we are at the hotel in the city and getting ready for a long day of teaching.


• Lunch break around noon (they served us really good food which was nice).


• Afternoon break - avoided desserts for the most part!


• Crossed fingers each day that I would be able to leave DC at 5pm.


• Make it back to pick up Roxie at 6:30.


• Home by 7:15.


• Get dinner ready for all the animals.


• Eat dinner myself.


• Finish homework from class and prepare for presentation at the end of the week.


• Finish emails from work and take care of anything that needs completing.


• Off to bed around mid-night to start it all over again.

So - needless to say that I didn't get any exercise last week. My eating wasn't horrible. I think I made good choices based on what I was presented with. I went and weighed in on Saturday and I was down 1 pound. It was actually 1 pound more than I expected so I was pretty happy. I now know that for the next 4 months I have to do what I can to lose weight for the first 3 weeks and then expect my week of training to be a wash. That is OK. I am proud of myself and the fact that I didn't gain weight. WOO HOO!!!

Off to bed now. I am realizing that my sleeping habits are playing a big roll in my weight loss issues. I don't get nearly enough sleep. Too much to do! Good night!!

Quick Update

Hi all!

Just wanted to give you an update. Last week's post I was a bit down and super frustrated. I listed a few ideas that I was going to apply for the week to see if it made any difference.

Well, I did apply them and I lost 3.6 pounds last week!! Woo Hoo. So that makes me happy.

My new fitness monitor is super cool. I love seeing how many calories I have burned for the day. I know now on the days that I don't get as much exercise, I really have to cut back quite a bit. I also know that I have to try to get more sleep. I am missing out on about 2 hours a night. I also know that I can have a small amount of indulgence (Saturday was a BBQ and I had a hot dog and small piece of cake) and still lose weight.

So I am much happier this week and wanted to let you all know.

Waste of Time and Money?

Well 7 weeks into Jenny Craig and I have lost 4 pounds. Woo Freakin Hoo!!! It is so incredibly frustrating. I have also been going to a trainer for over a year and have netted a whopping zero pounds weight loss.

I went out Sunday night this week and ate and drank way too much. I tried to correct through the rest of the week (even burning over 1,000 calories at the gym on Tuesday) but I was still up a half a pound from weigh in last week.

I mean, I understand what happened. It's not a shock to me. But I just HATE HATE HATE that I feel I can't have any fun and still lose weight. I feel I have to stay in all weekend and not be tempted because I can't trust my decisions. And that doesn't help me at all because I just end up feeling sad and lonely and eat any way.

So here is my plan -

1.) We adjusted my weekly calories on Jenny to allow me some wiggle room with my plan to still allow for a bit of "fun".

2.) Find new and inventive ways to hang out with friends without going out to eat all the time.

3.) I have a new body monitor to show me how much I am burning a day in calories and adjust from there as needed. I think that I am not burning as much as I think I am and need to have a way to keep thing in check.

So that is that. This will all work its way out.

Happenings.....

So, few things have been going on since I last wrote:

1.) I am taking a new role within my organization. It's a lateral move but puts me into a new department in the company and allows me to go through further training/career development. So it's a good move.

2.) I am signed up for training that will take 1 whole week a month for the next 5 months to complete. But once I get this training I will be really marketable.

3.) I cut the shit out of my foot yesterday and had to go get 4 stitches. Not a good day. Now I am on crutches because I can't put much weight on it right now.

4.) I decided to join Jenny Craig as a way to put some forced structure into my eating for now. Food tastes pretty good and I am happy with this for now. I am hoping what this will do is break a few bad habits I have fallen into over the last year. I am doing good so far.

5.) I have a super cute foster kitty in my house that is taking up a lot of time while I try to socialize him. His name is Monty. I did have 3 of his brothers and sisters, but they have moved on to a new foster family. Monty is coming along so I think that he will be adoptable.

I think that is all for major updates. Back to sitting on the couch and letting my foot heal. 10 days and the stitches can come out.

Alison

15 Hour Work Days

Work has become a bit crazy over the last few weeks and I have been working up to 15 hours and getting sometimes as little as 3 hours sleep. It leaves little time to get to the gym, think mindfully about what you are eating, and to make good food choices. I am frustrated that things are this crazy. I am frustrated that I haven't been able to really work on myself much lately. I like a fast paced day, but right now I just feel so overwhelmed and have been near tears a few times.

My boss read something to us on Monday from HR saying how important it is to sleep 8 hours a night. HA!!! I told him he needed to take like 8 projects off of my plate for that to happen. :o)

I know things will start to slow down. At least that is what I tell myself. It's Friday night now and I am not doing any work. I am watching Kitchen Nightmares, writing a blog and chillin' out. That is all I am worried about tonight. Just relaxing and hoping my brain shuts down for awhile.

Have a good one all!

Craziness Continues

Thank you Kris for reminding me that it's been forever since I posted. :o) Things have been beyond busy lately with work and travel. I have been working like crazy. Late evenings, early mornings. This all equals a lack of sleep and an increased chance for late night snacking. I have been doing pretty good though over the last few weeks. I continue to focus on the messages that are in Geneen Roth's book. I am starting to be more mindful of my hunger. I stop and think about whether I am hungry and if I am what I really want to eat. So last night I wasn't super hungry and had a bowl of cereal for dinner. Not the greatest, but it was satisfying. For lunch I had had a bunch of veggies and chicken. I didn't feel deprived at all.

The understanding of when I should start eating is easy to recognize. Hunger pains are hard to miss. I pretty much wait until I feel that and then I have something to eat. Super crazy idea!!! The hardest part for me is understanding when to stop. I think what Geneen says though is so true - if you are eating for reasons other than being hungry you will never feel satisfied and will not know when to stop eating. Since you are trying to fill another void that typically wouldn't be filled with food then there is no real stopping point. And it's so true. I do feel when I am hungry that I get to a point when eating that I feel done. I am working on stopping at that point.

I have to keep telling myself that if I am hungry again in a little bit that the food will still be there. I am not sure why I feel like if I don't eat it now then it will never be there again. I am surrounded by food. Where do I think it is going? It's a totally crazy idea. I have never been without food. Except for maybe a few weeks in my first job when I was making only $18,000 a year. But even then I had boxed of Mac and Cheese.

So, I don't know where the craziness comes from. But I want to be in control of my eating. And I am going to get there. I may never be a size 2 - but who wants that! But I can be in control and happy with my life. Maybe a size 10. :o)

Hi Kris!! Hope all is well.

The Way?

I wish there was a way for all of this change to happen without a lot of work. There are days that I just don't feel like figuring out why I want to eat when I am not hungry, trying to figure out when to stop eating because I am satisfied, trying to figure out why my voice is so mean and why I can't get it to stop. Why are we so hard on ourselves and treat ourselves so badly. It is just crazy to me that I can be so mean to myself. That I allow this stupid voice to tell me that I don't deserve to be happy and that I might as well eat because it's the only thing that is really there to comfort me. It doesn't make sense that I am so put together and in charge in other areas of my life. There is no doubt that with time and reflection that I can kick this food addiction and allow myself to be free of this constant battle. I love the comment in one of Geneen Roth's books that I am not on this earth to focus on losing the same 20 lbs over and over again. My life means more than that. I am here to live life to the fullest. And to do that I have to take care of myself in many different ways.

• Be kind to myself.
• Eat for proper nourishment so I can have the energy to live life to the fullest.
• Exercise to keep myself strong.
• Be good to others around me.

No where in there does it indicate that I have to live life focused on food, when I can get food and what I can get. Fulfillment does not come from a Twinkie!!! It comes from trusting other people, loving and being loved by others, and connecting with people. Not the slice of pizza on my plate.

These are the messages I have to remember every day. And I can do this!! And I deserve this!!