The topic of this session is - "What are you really hungry for?" This is a great question for me. I think ultimately I am looking for acceptance mostly for myself, I am looking for love and I am looking for purpose. I know that sitting on the couch on the weekends binging is not the life that I want to lead or one that I will be fulfilled with when the end comes.
Below are the notes for week #3 from Geneen Roth's online retreat.
Session began with class member questions -
1.) What should we eat when hungry? Listen to your body hungry. Tune in to it. Check into your body and figure out what works and what doesn't.
2.) How do I eat when I am hungry on a structured schedule? Make the guidelines work for you. Take into consideration what works for you. Take care of yourself.
3.) Should I eat breakfast? Know your body.
4.) Should I lose weight before I start working the guidelines? this seems to be more like a deferral process. Scared of change. Dig deep into your thoughts and determine your real motives.
Messages on Tonight's Topic
1.) Inquiry - allows you to be curious about what you really believe and feel. Conscious or unconscious. Self-image and identity are made up of beliefs, feelings and thoughts. This is what we believe to be the truth because we have thought it so long and no longer question the truth. How we define success and failure. Inquiry is the focus and questioning our resistance to what we are feeling.
2.) Curiosity - how was it handled as a child? Were you allowed to ask questions were you scolded?
3.) Being a victim and victim mentality is the opposite of curiosity. It allows you to remove yourself from this reflection.
4.) We no longer rely on adults to take care of us. We are adults now. If we keep repeating what we heard as children and to believe it we are allowing those other adult voices to be our voices.
5.) Whatever you are feeling - treat it as if it's the first time you have felt it and really look at the feeling and explore it.
a.) Cannot have an agenda.
b.) Cannot have preferences on emotions
c.) No judgements allowed
d.) Voice needs to be questions and disengaged
e.) Don't analyze it
f.) You have to be willing to know something you may not want to know
7.) Sensation Location - what is the sensation and where do I feel it the most? Become more precise from there. Color, shape, true feeling? This is the first step of inquiry.
8.) This is a practice and isn't going to be an instant ah-ha moment. We aren't going to be good at it in the beginning.
1.) We are so blended with the voice that it is in the first person and it does sound like ourselves talking to ourselves.
2.) Recognize the attack of the voice - you suddenly feel small and diminished.
3.) You may not in the beginning that the voice is talking to you, but you will feel the after effects. Now you can start working yourself backwards to figure out what is going on.
4.) Sometimes you feel desperate and need to find someone else really smart. Need to find a guide or a mentor. This is the influence of the voice.
5.) Work at the "you" and "me" process. Put your voice into second person and start to separate. Talk back to the voice and put it in it's place.
This week's practice -
Eat without distractions - no television, reading, computer
Practice Inquiry - start developing your curiosity. Ask yourself why you did something you told yourself you weren't going to do. Be kind to your self.