Tuesday, January 19, 2010

2 Steps Forward, 3 Steps Back

I have been slipping the last few days. I'm not sure why it seems like I have some good success and then I start to regress. I need to find a way to get my goals written down and made available to me at any point when I feel my resolve slipping. Today I went to Wegman's and walked out with 2 chocolate chip cookies. 2!!! I saw them and it was all over. I didn't even think about all the good work I have done and stopped myself from picking them up. I know better. I don't know.

So, what this means now is tomorrow is back on track. No need to blow out the rest of the week. I am going to work on my goal sheet and find a way to keep it handy all the time.

I can do this!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Under Appreciated

OK - so this is today's feeling. As I was driving home from work I was feeling sorry for myself because I am feeling a bit left out and separated from others at work. My best friend at work has left, my boss hasn't been in for a week, I am just back to work from 2 weeks off, I am in the middle of evaluations at work, and I don't see any immediate growth with my current position. So - I am feeling a bit lost at the moment. I really wanted to eat tonight when I got home, but I resisted the urge and stuck with my meal shake.

This is just another identification of an emotion that can lead me to binge.

I know that I am being silly with this. I know that people appreciate me and that I am a valued asset at work. I am now talking my self down from the edge and appreciating what I have and where I am with my career. Life is good. I need to remember that and totally appreciate what I have and where I have come from.

I am appreciated and valued!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Great Weekend!

Well, I made it through a great weekend. I didn't stress about food. I didn't binge at all. I had lunch both days out with friends and ate sensibly, but again didn't stress about it. When dinner came around both nights I was only slightly hungry so I had my meal replacement and was totally satisfied.

I am really excited about learning how to balance my days. I can have a bigger lunch with friends as long as I balance it out late with a small dinner. This feels right and good.

I am still cutting out all "Kids Sugar" except for a low fat ice cream bar at night. But no candy, cookies, cake, pie, etc.

I am still struggling with incorporating exercise into my routine on a regular basis. I realized its because I am bored with what I have available to me. I have some places I want to check out for a change of pace. Zumba or Cycling or something. Just for a change up. I am also going to get back into my weight lifting tomorrow morning.

I have to come up with a new plan for my alarm clock. I have been hitting snooze WAY TOO MUCH. I have to get up in the morning so I can do all the things I want to do. Exercise, walk the dog, feed the pets, drink coffee and eat breakfast, workout and then get to the office on time. PHEW!!! Lots to do first thing in the am. But I like doing all of that. Better than trying to do it in the evening.

I am changing!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Back to the Routine

Well I have been back to work for just about a week. Things are going well. I have made a decision to try something new with my eating. I kind of slipped from routine today, but it was a weird day. I am eating most of my calories before about 5:00. When I get home from work I make myself busy and stop to have a meal replacement shake around 7-7:30. I bought Shakeology from beachbody.com. It is a very well balanced shake. I make it with milk. It's actually filling enough to get me through to bed time. It's about 250 calories. I think as I do this more and more I will get used to it.

What this does for me is to eliminate a bad time for bingeing for me. If I know I only get a shake at night then there is no reason to keep going back to the kitchen. I am done for the night and that's it.

Now I just need to figure out what to do for the weekends. That is the worst time of the week for me. It is so hard to stay on track. But I just have to continue with what I know - veggies, protein, calcium, whole wheat, and nightly shake.

I will succeed!!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Vacation is Ending

Well I am almost done with my vacation time. I have gotten quite a bit done around the house which is great. I am looking forward to a bit of structure again with my time. I am starting to lose a bit of control with my eating. I have been to McDonald's twice in 3 days and ordered a pizza. I just don't normally do that. I haven't been focused on my rules and need to get back on track,

I know one thing for me to do when I feel things slipping is to start writing things down again. It always helps me to get back on track. I also took some nasty fat pictures today to add to my journal. Nothing motivates you more than looking at your double chin - YUCK!

No New Years resolutions though. I am not going to set myself up for that. I do want to lose 5 pounds a month each month in 2010. That would get me to goal. I also want to start going to church again. Aim will be twice a month.

I can change!