Friday, March 18, 2011

The Way?

I wish there was a way for all of this change to happen without a lot of work. There are days that I just don't feel like figuring out why I want to eat when I am not hungry, trying to figure out when to stop eating because I am satisfied, trying to figure out why my voice is so mean and why I can't get it to stop. Why are we so hard on ourselves and treat ourselves so badly. It is just crazy to me that I can be so mean to myself. That I allow this stupid voice to tell me that I don't deserve to be happy and that I might as well eat because it's the only thing that is really there to comfort me. It doesn't make sense that I am so put together and in charge in other areas of my life. There is no doubt that with time and reflection that I can kick this food addiction and allow myself to be free of this constant battle. I love the comment in one of Geneen Roth's books that I am not on this earth to focus on losing the same 20 lbs over and over again. My life means more than that. I am here to live life to the fullest. And to do that I have to take care of myself in many different ways.
  • Be kind to myself.
  • Eat for proper nourishment so I can have the energy to live life to the fullest.
  • Exercise to keep myself strong.
  • Be good to others around me.

No where in there does it indicate that I have to live life focused on food, when I can get food and what I can get. Fulfillment does not come from a Twinkie!!! It comes from trusting other people, loving and being loved by others, and connecting with people. Not the slice of pizza on my plate.

These are the messages I have to remember every day. And I can do this!! And I deserve this!!